Not On My Watch

Three weeks had passed since I had seen Fae, aside from a fleetingly short visit when she came to see me at work asking me to get her some clothes so that she could stay with her newest patient for a few days, I knew then, even if Fae didn't, that she wouldn't be coming home that weekend. She had a strange tone in her voice when she came to Francois shop that afternoon, a determined but strangely concerned voice, whoever had just walked into Fae's care was somehow like a personal mission to Fae and as I packed her a bag that night, I put in enough clothes for her to stay at the Davizioso for a week without needing to leave. Sure enough that weekend Fae stayed at the Davizioso, she still phoned me and texted me over the weekend to apologise for not coming home, I didn't mind as I knew that whoever Fae was looking after and whatever their circumstances she couldn't and wouldn't leave them alone.

August had slipped away quietly as I got used to a largely silent and empty house, everything felt different from the first coffee in the morning, the walk to work but more so the eerie silence as me and Zala sat each night listening for the door handle to move and Fae to finally come home. Truthfully we both missed Fae and her odd and often unpredictable ways though Zala was quite enjoying having the full extent of Fae's bed to stretch out and sink into at night as she fell asleep laid on her side with her head rested on Fae's pillows. I wasn't alone in missing her presence either, everyone asked me daily how Fae was and if she was okay, everyone from Francois and Colette to Fabi and Alyssia all were desperate to see any hint of our friend. Just like me beyond a rushed and fleeting phone call or text message they had seen no sight or sound of her for weeks, to all intents it was as if Fae had just vanished off the face of the earth like a ghost. Every Wednesday night in my weekly catch up with Tony I asked if she was okay but even he didn't really seem to know, his golden girl and the best asset of the Davizioso was like a ghost or entity that he didn't really see?

September though I hoped would be different and at some point in time soon Fae would come bounding through the front door, ripping me from the sofa to tickle my belly and torture me until I cried, writhed and squealed with deep guttural laughter. Maybe she would just grab me by the arms and swing me round like a rag doll until we both fell to the ground laughing until our throats hurt and she would grab me and hugging and crushing me like there was no-one else on earth. Life sometimes felt oddly empty without Fae and her unpredictable, turbulent but fun ways, deep down I knew that she had to stay at the Davizioso. Fae had often told me that the real driving force behind her career was to find that one person and to stop them from suffering how she had throughout her life, to stop them from feeling hopelessly alone and to be that one person who didn't give up on them or walk away. Though the reasons they had wound up in her care were likely to be awful, they were pretty lucky as Fae is the best of the best because she would never leave them to suffer alone even if that meant sacrificing her own personal life for them. That commitment to her patients and natural drive to help them is what made Fae's hands the safest hands in all of Ljianstipol.